Sunday, November 29, 2009

Thanksgiving.


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Special thanks to Maxine the Nissan Maxima, the George family, and the "great" state of NJ for a wonderful 8 days.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

How I Feel (Lyrics Version)


I've come through many hard trials
Through temptations on every hand
Though Satan's tried to stop me
And to place my feet on sinking sand
Through the pain and all of my sorrows
Through the tears and all of my fears
The Lord was there to keep me
For He's kept me in the midst of it all

Not because I've been so faithful
Not Because I've always obeyed
Noo, It's not because I trust him
To be with me all of the way
But it's because He loves me so dearly
He was there to answer my call
He was there always to protect me
For He's kept me in the midst of it all

--From "In the Midst of it All" Yolanda Adams

Friday, November 13, 2009

As Always....He is the Last Thing I Think of...

It's something about that initial contact.
That moment.
I mean, we exist a part from each others sights consistently.
It could be days before we are next to each other, and that doesn't make me question whether or not I am on his mind...Like he is on mine...
I don't wonder if the love is fading, because I feel that the exact opposite is true.

Still.
It's something about that first hug. The "hello" in his hand grabbing mine.
The second his fingertips graze my cheek.
I anticipate the electricity but am still caught off guard at the point of impact.
Sometimes, I want to go through intentional bouts of long distant agony, so that I experience his touch at maximum strength.

It's love.
I know.
But in that moment, it's as if I've always known...but not quite enough.
I missed a detail. A hidden, minuscule portion of the obvious.
That contact overwhelms my awareness.
And if doubt could ever manage it's way into my heart, it could never be then.
In that moment.
...There's just no room.

Honest Scrap Award.

I have had the supreme pleasure of coming across some of the greatest minds in the blog-o-sphere. And I believe that when you receive some form of recognition, you should share the spotlight with those who have contributed to your gift. And since I've so graciously received the Honest Scrap Award, I want to pass it along to those whose blogs consistently inspire and move me.
The honest scrap award rules:
1. Present the award to seven bloggers whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design or who have encouraged you.
2. Tell those seven people that you have given them the Honest Scrap Award.
3. Share ten honest things about yourself.

I Nominate (Click to go to the blog) :
10 Honest Things 'bout Me:
1. I love being Southern. Wouldn't trade it for any other geographic affiliation in our nation.
2. I'm supressing baby/family fever. My COUN 502 course is NOT helping me win this battle.... (I've spent the last 2 months raising a Virtual Child as part of this course's project. Um. Yeah.)
3. I hate politics. It's a shame that people who don't hold my same morals can teach those who do a thing or two about civility and tolerance.
4. I am surrounded by opportunities to force friendships. And I can't do it anymore. I'm sick of pretending that I have connections with people that I just don't. And that makes me sad....
5. I spend many moments of the day reminding myself that I am okay just the way that I am. I take up too much of my time actively trying to evolve/grow, but it's when I completely let go, that I forget what I lack; unconsciously trusting that it's God that adds to my heart daily.
6. I love writing. (Duh....but. Really. I do.)
7. I don't know why Jesus loved me enough to die for me. Or why He still loves me. Or why He promises to love me always. But whatever the answer is...it is, by far, the hope of my life.
8. The more I'm extremely picky about what music I listen to/buy/download, the more gems I find. (I.e. The Foreign Exchange)
9. I'm starting to loathe the whole gift part of Christmas. I don't want a thing this year.
10. I love my momma. There's no one else I look up to more.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Shabazz. Palaces.

Shabazz Palaces - "Belhaven Meridian" [OFFICIAL] from Kahlil Joseph on Vimeo.



This video was shot in ONE take, FYI. Not to mention the track is dope.
[Found on Soulbounce.com.]

In Memory of the Unborn.


Untitled (Haiku)
4-18-07

women silently
giving birth to corpses. Who
will speak for the dead?

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Ugly. (Part 2...before Part 1)

I carry a beauty inside that I do not understand.

I have never thought of myself as an especially attractive person, but I do see a beauty when I look into my own reflection. I see beauty in most things, actually. There is beauty in the embrace of two enemies. In the giggle of a carefree child. In the random, purposeful flight pattern of a butterfly. Even in the surprising crescendo of melody during the bridge of a song. It’s as if a surge of emotion comes from a hidden place inside of you, and for a moment, you connect with God’s original design. Sometimes, I’ll want to stay and linger, because it feels like I am literally walking through the Garden with Him. It feels familiar; like I am back in a place where I am welcome. Home.

I tend to hide in the background.

Even though I stand at an even six feet, I am most comfortable preparing others for their individual callings for greatness. I’ve had moments where I’ve witnessed God’s light within my own soul. However, I try my best to shy away from it after a while, because I do not want to get contented with the idea that God wants to dwell permanently within me. I understand that for salvation and righteousness purposes, God wants to set up his dominion. He wishes to have complete Lordship over my heart, and to this, I gladly comply. Still, I am uneasy with the fact that He not only wants to own me, but He wants to live in and through me.

A landlord is not required to live in the same apartment complex as his tenants, but a good landlord will commit to the well-being of those who live there. The landlord who lives among his tenants wishes to be readily available to them. I will never understand why Christ saved my soul, only to set up a gorgeous palace in the center of its ruins, and then rest there.

He is my beauty.
He’s the beauty that I do not understand.
...That I am scared to death to live without...