Build.An.Alter.

I went and ate lunch alone today...it was nice.
...and I started thinking.
When people in the Old Testament (of the Bible, I mean) were met with
certain provisions, or something life-changing happened to them, or God
revealed something new, they did one main thing:

They built an alter.

When God changed Jacob's name to Israel, he built a memorial on that very spot.
Serving as a physical memory. A reminder of what took place.

2008 so far has been a literal dramatic crescendo of events. I mean, one thing after the other. One challenge after another. And I've been presented with an expectant future. Lots to look forward to. And plenty to worry about.
...but I won't.
I'll simply grab a hammer & a handful of nails, along with a couple of pieces of wood...
and construct my own humble monument.

...maybe I'll call it "Jireh".

The.Reason.

...it was one of those days.

At times, I can have conversations about him with my mom, where we laugh about the person he was. We remember how perfect his smile was, or how he could walk in the pouring rain and would never get a single drop on his suede Timberland boots. I remember how his shoulders shook when he laughed. Most days, I can think of him, and not feel a stab in my chest. This painful realization that he has physically missed so much of my life.
...but today...was one of those days.

Granted, I have been able to walk around with some joy today. But I just wish I could talk to him. I wish he could stand in front of me and trip about how tall I've gotten, or smile at the young woman I am becoming. I want him to tell me that no guy would ever be good enough for me. I want him to slip me $20. I want him to hug me on my wedding day and play with my children. I want my kids to be able to say that "Uncle Mike" is their absolute favorite uncle. I will never have that.

And sometimes, even after 9 years, I still feel his void. I am complete in Christ, yes, but if you could look around my heart, you would see an empty chair with his name on it.

And I know that God's plan is perfect. I know that my brother is in a better place. I know that I will see him again someday. But days like this still happen. And I battle jealousy and anger each time I hear my roommate get so easily annoyed at her older brother for calling...just to chat with her. What a huge blessing in such a small gesture.

But the silver lining appears to me around this time of the day. First off, I can hear pride & joy, not grief, when my mother speaks of him. Each time my family gathers together, we talk about him as if he is only away at college. Not to mention, each time I see my nephew, I see a promise that my brother made.

Secondly, my brother, Michael, is, what I like to call...The.Reason...

(2005)

Your smile

Was

My melody

My lyric

My expression

But the day

You ceased

Smiling

I lost my song…

Full of

Emotions

Words

Jargons

With no one around

But my notebook

And his companion…

My pencil

So…

We three became

Acquainted

And soon

Started a love affair

A threesome

In which I

Consistently mourn your absence

Yet rejoice in your eternal rest

If you

Left no

Unspoken void in me

I would have

Ignored

them

Thank You.

We miss you. I miss you.
Love,
Your little sis Britt

The Church of Oprah???

Comments are always welcome.

I Am Woman...See.Me.Soar.

Simple and enigmatic.
Bold and strong.
Fierce and fragile.
Well acquainted with oppression, tragedy, and prejudice.
A forerunner even while behind the front lines.
Initial safe-haven for an unborn child.
Her son's first peer into love. Her daughter's steadfast tutor.
Her man's delicate sanctuary. Strong as iron, soft as silk.
Sophisticated and Kind.
Powerful and Just.
Her role stretches across the span of oceans:
From Teacher. Author. Activist.
To Nurturer. Lover. Provider.
Tributes through planes that sky-write to tattoos on arms.
"Hey mom's" mouthed into cameras to Ms. Angelou's "phenomenally".
Shakespeare sonnets to Tiffany diamonds.
Angela Davis to Angela Bassett.
Negative, scantly clothed images cast no shadow across the shine her subtle crown gives.
Temperamental moods in 5 to 7 day seasons are a necessary sacrifice in order to birth a world.
50 years of back-breaking manual labor condensed into 36plus hours of labor.
But you can keep your gold watch because retirement is not an option.
Her 9 to 5 comes in 24 hour shifts, just different name tags.
And since the auction block she worked alone.
Nursing her own infirmities meanwhile praying that she will
birth a healthy baby girl...

National Poetry Month

In honor of all the poets:

HipRockSoul

2-19-2008

Jagged

Scratches across vinyl

Speak to natives like hieroglyphics

Retelling a history and preserving an inheritance

From one generation to the next

Equipping young hands:

Microphones

With black paint

Chipping away in spots where they

Were once

Gripped.

Clutched and driven.

Personifying rage and amplifying truth.

[This proves Hip Hop has Soul.]

Picks

Strumming lightly

Onto strings.

Clearing its throat.

Sending vibrations through low rumbles or high cries.

Preparation to rally with the oppressed

And empathize with the tortured.

A sea of hands wave left to right in agreement.

Sharp

Like sandpaper

And boomin' like thunder.

Drum sets prey on emotion

At its rawest.

Sticks strike. Setting off explosions.

Land mines of sound.

A power given and a presence commanded.

[Feels like Rock really can be Hip.]

Scatted

Consonants trip ears with their theatrical tactics

Hummed vowels pressed out of pursed lips

Carry listeners through highs and lows.

Revealing melodic epiphanies

And healing societal schisms with

Love.

Sober-eyed "preachers".

Ministers of the earth-toned cloth

Stand with feet planted

Fluent in sign language

Whether it be two fingers; side by side

Or an enclosed fist raised proudly

[See? Soul can Rock it, after all.]

Giving you:

Hip-Rock-Soul.