Sunday, December 30, 2007

Open Palms on a Blank Poetry Book. (Transition)

2008. Fast approaching.

::Deep breath::

This year has had its share of trials, more than I can count on both hands, actually. But, instead of droning on and on, listing each one, I will choose to list positive things that I have learned from them. My highest philosophy in life is that everything happens for a reason...

1. Always carry a pen/notebook with you. If inspiration ran track, it'd be a heck of a sprinter.

2. Place less and less emphasis on the word "blame". As a matter of fact, completely delete it from your vocabulary. Trust me, this word has never brought closure or healing to any situation.

3. Never take yourself too seriously, but always take what you stand for seriously. Many of us have it backwards.

4. Gossip is dangerous. Funny how everyone will save rebuke for other people and compliments for themselves.

5. Do what is right above what is enjoyable. If at all possible: DO BOTH AT ONCE.

6. You can never love cautiously. Love is never safe. To seek such a love is to rob yourself of the greatest adventure.

7. Religion will do none of us any good. But a Relationship will save you and even those you come in contact with. Jesus didn't die to be named after a religion, but to restore a relationship.

8. Ignore personal opinion. It changes to often, and you will die prematurely trying to please everyone.

9. Stretch yourself past your own expectations. God gave us wings as well as arms and legs.

10. Forgive. It is the most powerful resource we have.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

What I Know So Far...(Reflection for the Occasion)

So yeah. 22.

It feels really good, and I just thought I'd share (in a slightly humorous tone) the lessons I've learned so far (No big explanation for each, just try any one of them and I bet you'll either get a positive result or you'll feel better about life):

1. Be good to people.

2. Upon first glance, give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

3. Family first.

4. Give more than you expect.

5. Invest into the life of at least one child.

6. Talk to total strangers. (Yeah I know, it is the exact opposite of what we were taught as children...)
7. Be brave.

8. Take part in or cause at least 4 random acts per day.

9. Laugh a lot.

10. Take part in citywide/campuswide/nationwide causes. Go on a mission trip at least once in your life.

11. Leave notes of gratitude to waiters/ tip more than expected.

12. Work harder as a volunteer than you would as a paid employee.

13. Choose being humble above being right.

14. Color in coloring books regularly.

15. Take lots of pictures.

16. Dance badly in public.

17. Strive to learn something new everyday.

18. Love. For God's sakes... LOVE!

19. Eat Chocolate. Yes...because chocolate=endorphans=happiness.

20. Trust in God with everything you have and all that you are, and watch Him take care of the rest.

21. Hey...your parents: they know what they are talking about. LISTEN.

22. In college, take a class or join an organization that has NOTHING to do with your major.

23. Nap.

24. TV really can rot your brain. Read a book.

25. God created you, and He loves you, so it is for the benefit of all mankind that YOU love YOU as well. You are a good thing...God said so.

Monday, September 3, 2007

A Promise He Will Always Keep

"We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It's an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us...."

--Hebrews 6:18-20 (The Message Translation)

Friday, August 31, 2007

What Is Spoken Word? (My Thoughts)

Technical Definition:Spoken word is a form of literary art or artistic performance in which lyrics, poetry, or stories are spoken rather than sung. Spoken-word is often done with a musical background, but emphasis is kept on the speaker.

One of the most common sorts of spoken word performances is performance poetry, where a poet either reads previously-published poems, or reads poems specifically written to be performed aloud. Another kind that has gained popularity in recent years is political and social commentary, done in such a way that it is, while still prose, somewhat more artistic than a typical speech. Spoken word artists are often poets and musicians. Spoken word gained notoriety in the late 1980s and early 1990s through the emergence of "poetry slams," where spoken word artists would square off in cabaret-style duels.

My Personal Definition: Once upon a time, a heart with too much emotion picked up a pen with less than adequate ink, wrote on paper with not enough space; so he/she stood with just enough courage, and spoke with more than sufficient one pair of ears or more.

King David was a poet. But Jesus was a spoken word artist.

King Solomon?....a poet I'd say. But Job?...No. THAT dude was a spoken word artist.

Martin Luther King, Jr.? ....Spoken Word Artist.

Malcolm X? Spoken Word Artist.

My mother, or my bold 8 year old nephew?....Yes. They as well.

Even God Himself used words to aid Him in Creation. He spoke everything into existance, save man/woman.

I proclaim that anyone who speaks truth unashamedly is by experience, if not by vocation, a Spoken Word Artist.

Words are so powerful, and the tongue is accredited to being either deadly or helpful. So, you allow these two forces to commence in a collaboration, and damage can be done.

Yes, you can ignore my blogs and my words. You can slide a book underneath a coffee table and allow it to collect dust. But few are successful at blocking out the resonance of the Spoken Word...

...but you can go ahead and try. I dare you.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

You Know...This Line Has Been On My Mind...

"...what should I do & what should I say since my heart is making plans for me."

-- honey dew (geno young)


I'm in a very peculiar state at the moment. I have engaged myself into a way of loving and living that I have absolutely no control over. No longer am I maneuvering it, but it is maneuvering me. Unfamiliar territory, indeed. In the instance that I attempt at self-mastery or restraint, I become subject to my own insubordination. My heart defies me. With each rising of a new sun, it enlarges inside of my chest; threatening to become the only thing left of me. It winks at the fact that I am interrupted physically as well as spiritually. It's as if it knows something I do not, it ignores my remains of fear from broken love, and scoffs at my worry of a reoccurrence.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The God Complex (And Things Surrounding)

It's funny how quickly people forget where they've come from. We, as a people, and as a humanity, did not create ourselves, but suddenly we live as though we have always been. Not only that, but we sadly live as though we have no eventual end.

We rule over others like we ourselves weren't once slaves.

I see my people with fat pockets, but still demanding a hand out, simply because they feel it is owed to them. Reparations are not the answer. Complaining is not the answer. Many have died for us to have a voice. When it's your time to speak up, what will you say?

We consume our natural resources as if it can be replenished by our own two hands.

The more we rape our women, the more women/men are born infertile.

The more we want total control over our own existence, children are born addicted to heroine, 3 year olds are shot by stray bullets, pastors are touching young boys, schools will see more casualties than war, and more and more faceless teenagers will lose hope.

The more we hate each other, the more carnage and violence will be the norm in our neighborhoods.

We expect violence to bring our homes peace. Not so. And we are so deceived. [NOTE: I support our troops. Period.] We expect the effects of over 400 years of slavery to be forgotten and undone in less than half the time. The sins of the father will visit generations to come...Just like I am dealing with my father's unseen hatred inside of me; my white brothers/sisters must face their father's sins also. We must share the responsibility as Americans.

We sing songs to this land, with its purple mountains majesty, forgetting the blood that was shed that helped make the hills as lush as they are. We boast in our present achievements, in our vast armies, and our glory days of war, never realizing we must pay for our injustice.

Our "divine" attitudes and shifty laws are making re-entrance into our lives.

We've forgotten our God, and cry out that He's forgotten us. We are forgetting Him. We are attempting to erase His presence from our schools, from our monetary values ("In God We Trust"), and even from our churches.

I believe the expression says something about chickens and roosting?

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Maybe It's In the Air... (Last Blog Before the Summer That Changed My LIfe)

I really, really, REALLY need to go home.

I feel as though I am wearing out my welcome, and its becoming a struggle to be around people. I am a Psychology major, so people should be my area of expertise. Right now, I am stumped.

My best guy friend (with whom I have complicated feelings for)has gone clueless on me. Or maybe I've been clueless for at least a month.... I thought he was one of the few people on this campus that understood me. At times, it seems the air is clear, but add other people into the mix, and I have no clue what is going on. I wrote him a haiku last night while we were studying, and he looked at it like I'd written in Arabic. I was a little disappointed. had begun (even unknowingly to myself) to build up a sense of false hope of things changing between us. I wasn't expecting a dating relationship per se, but a distinct difference than what we were used to. It hit me sitting in that computer lab somewhere between 3 and 4 am, that things will NEVER change. I badly want to be in his life, but I realized that I must keep him at a distance.

I don't want to yearn for him the way he yearns for her. And she is "just a friend". Why make my misery worse?

But its not just his part in it that makes me uneasy, I'm not helping the situation either. A fear inside of me has reared its ugly head. I am afraid of not being close to him. But I won't allow myself to get close if it means my feelings for him will grow. I don't like the feeling I feel when "we three" are in the same room. I am not the jealous type and I can very clearly see why he adores her. She is a constant source of conversation between us, and I am never naturally bias in my advice.

I can tell a difference. In him, I mean. He playfully hugs me, yet he holds her. He writes poetry describing her, and I am merely an encouragement in the Art; a colleague.

What's this familiar pain I feel in my chest?

Homesickness doesn't paralyze me like this..........

Thursday, May 3, 2007

I Blame You...

B.E.T. it's your fault....

Once, you were a voice for the people, now you are an immoral preacher, the bringer of false doctrine. A head with two minds. At any moment you proclaim truth and religion, shining the Saints, beaming with worship to the Creator, but then your screen dims and you feed the lusts of men and women alike; exalting sin. You are more concerned with the glorification of ignorance, instead of the promotion of unity and wisdom.

Hip Hop, I blame you...

You used to be such a powerful tool; molding and shaping young individuals into a strong, intelligent, and political force, but now all you're good for is the defilement of the eye and ear gates. Slapping on dirty substance and calling it "thug life". You deceive our children into thinking that becoming a martyr for this lifestyle is honorable. You have lied to us, Hip Hop.

Crack cocaine, I hate you...

You make my sisters deny their spirits for a hit of you. We sell our babies and our bodies for your temporal sense of sustenance. You make us give birth to addicts, meanwhile chasing their fathers away. I despise your power, and I seek to disarm you. are filth...

You bring unclean wealth into the hands of our young men, teaching them, not the principles of business and the substance of a hard day's work, but the industry of taking addiction to the masses. You deceive many by claiming you're not addictive, yet you slyly maintain your presence in and outside of our neighborhoods. I wish you would just go away, and let my people go.

Alcohol, I'm speaking to you too. Lust, you have got to go.....Pride, your presence makes me sick.

What has happened to us? What happened to the people who stood for what's right? Now, we lay down...

We lay down for fame. For sex. For drugs. For pleasure.

What happened to the time where we valued one another? Took care of one another? What happened to the time where we treated our women like queens? Our men like leaders with honor and respect?

We have traded one form of slavery to another. God says you are FREE....

Monday, April 30, 2007

So. You Think You're A Lady? (A Definition)

My mother is one of the classiest women I have ever known. No matter how many incredible ladies I will meet in THIS lifetime, no one will surpass my mother. Jesus is my example of Holy living, but my mother is my example for the standard of class and sophistication.

To my mother, I dedicate this note.

Sadly, most young women lack the 3 things that are imperitive in a Lady's character: Dignity, Wisdom, Spirituality.

Dignity- bearing, conduct, or speech indicative of self-respect or appreciation of the formality or gravity of an occasion or situation; elevation of character.

Wisdom- knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.

Spirituality- predominantly spiritual character as shown in thought, life, etc.


As young women, especially young black women, we have been taught to take up for ourselves. Never let anyone talk you down. Don't back down from anyone. The definition of our character comes from the wrong places. Either we are known for our shape, or for our loud mouths. But a true lady not only knows what to say, but she knows how to say it, and in what situation its appropriate to say it.

Also, our presence doesn't demand respect. We will attract what is inside of us. If you attract disrespect, then its because you need to increase your amount of self-respect. Because the Holy Spirit dwells inside of you, you will treat it as a temple. This should effect what you put on your temple, put into your temple, and allow to come out of your temple. Covers just about everything, right?

"I'm just being myself, and I don't care who doesn't like it."

Excuse me, sister? You don't care? It's that type of attitude that bears the fruit of an unteachable, haughty spirit. This is not the character of a lady.A lady can disagree humbly. She does not HAVE to fight so intently against the stereotypes that try to bind us, because her presence subtly changes the atmosphere around her. She doesn't have to yell or be loud, because one look can express volumes, and you will know exactly how she feels. Now, she CAN get loud when the occasion calls for it, but her wisdom discerns when it is necessary.

She does not have to be self-reliant, because in everything she does, she relies on God for. He supplies her every need. There is no reason for her to chase a man, or break her back endlessly in her career, because she keeps her Father as her number one priority. She doesn't keep her ear to a music industry that constantly slanders her, nor does she listen to the words of the streets who attempt to enslave her. She quiets her spirit, turns off the noise, and concentrates on what her Lord has to say about her. This is where she finds her strength.

Young women, please pay attention to these words. You are far more valuable than you are presenting yourself to be. Your Lord, Your God, is King of the Universe, and you are His daughter.....

...honey, that makes you Royalty. You are a Princess.

Be encouraged.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

The Company You Keep

The older I get, the more I realize that everything is connected somehow. This could be good or bad, therefore bringing negative or positive results in your life.

All things God will work out for your good, like people quote all the time, but few quote the whole verse...which is "..for those who love God and are called according to His Purpose." This involves a simple thing: choice.

In His Sovereignty, He gives us the ability to choose details of our lives. "All things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial." Which is which, is up to you.

I've taken inventory over the people in my life...the people I call "friends", and that I spend precious, non-refundable time with. Like the signature scene in a Spike Lee movie, everything slows down and I am somehow floating, my world passing me by. When you stop and take a look around you, everything seems to be put into perspective. There is a handful of people with whom I look at and think, "It is not benefiting me to spend so much of my time with you."

Now, I am not a selfish person, and I realize that God will bring people into my life that need me for a season, more than I necessarily need them, but there are some people who stay past their season. And because of that, they are floating around me with absolutely no purpose. Not only are they wasting their own time, but mine as well. Granted, they do not see it this way, and they, to no avail, battle for my time.

Should I tell these people to get lost?

Definitely not.

I can only pray that God will show them to an exit.

I suggest you all do the same...Let's get on with it. Time wasted is time lost.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Getting Back Up...(Read and Be Encouraged)

Psalm 37: 24 says:

Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand.

Proverbs 24:16 says:

For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, but the wicked shall fall by calamity.

God's mercy is not a license to sin, but a daily need in my life. I should no longer make vows to myself, nor to other people, what acts I am not capable of, because God has shown me that without His Holy Spirit, I am capable of no good. This fact is not a chain on my neck, but it liberates me from my shackles that most call "living a Christian life". Until I allow God to live holy through me, it will seem like a burden or a chore. But this self-righteousness that I have seen inside of me grieves the heart of God. I am basically saying to him that I am capable of choosing good over evil without His help or guidance.

But, I have fallen on my face, and my actions surprised even me. God allowed me to roam away from his guidance for a moment (still protecting me) to show me that without Him, I AM NOTHING.

I say that to all of you who profess to be believers. We are nothing without the grace and mercy of God, given to us through the blood of Jesus Christ.


With Him...We are everything. We are powerful. No evil hinderance or temptation can touch us or make us flinch an eyelid. We have authority over every scheme, trap, and terror.

Thank you Lord for this lesson. I love you.

Saints of God, read and be encouraged. I love you as well.

Your sister in Christ,


Sunday, April 8, 2007

Ressurection Sunday

Today. Jesus overcame Death.Sin.

Everything that Wars over your Soul and
Everything that seeks to destroy your Potential.

He defeated it.

Not just by Dying.

But by doing what ordinary martyrs can't....

He rose.

So, Beloved....

Reflect and Remember.



Friday, April 6, 2007

Good Friday

Today, Jesus Christ became the ultimate sacrifice, the slain Lamb, for the sins of all mankind.

Can you see Him? There on the cross? He did it for You. Know, in this moment, you know a Love like no other. Because of our sins, we deserved that cross, but he took our place.

The Great Exchange took place today.

God bless,


ps: to be continued...................... (oh no...its not over)

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Money Over B*tch*s (READ)...Hip Hop Slang Part One

Even if Nas, Talib, and KRS-One dropped 4 albums a year, people still wouldn't learn the lessons in their bars. We will still continue to indulge in the self-destructive behavior that is keeping us from accomplishing on a community level. Few make it out, but most keep the mentality of poverty in order to maintain street credibility.

Hip hop, sadly, is slowly moving from the streets, courtrooms, and classrooms, and into the club. This is the reason why people get weary of conscious hip hop...we sound like broken records because no one seems to be listening. What are we listening to? you ask...Let's take the slang that young adults and teenagers seem to have adopted as their religion:

"Money over b*tch*s".

I'm not going to take a purely feminist role on this one, so I'll simply say this: the only way to advance in life is through knowledge, because when you die, the only people that will care about how much money you had, plan to inherit some of it. Most black people were forced to overlook education simply because it wasn't an option, and it was only to meet basic needs.This message teaches us, not ambition, but greed and self-absorption.

Then there is the ongoing battle of the word "b*tch" in the hip hop culture. It's referred to a weak man at times, but mostly used towards women. Look at this equation:
Woman is to B*tch = African American is to Nigger

It is amazing how similar they are (if they could fit the description of you). Both are oppressive forms of slang used, 99% of the time, to demean and slander, and NOT to make a proper judgment. I don't feel that using nigger (or nigga) is appropriate in any situation, and I feel that b*tch is either. Simply because a young man might adopt the same mindset that white people growing up adopted, that most, if not ALL women (black people) are b*tch*s (niggers).

Malcolm X said "I taught brothers not only to deal unintelligently with the devil or the White woman, but I also taught many brothers to spit acid at the sisters. They were kept in their places — you probably didn't notice this in action, but it is a fact. I taught these brothers to spit acid at the sisters. I taught the brothers that the sisters were standing in their way . I did these things brother. I must undo them."

But excuse me.....all hail the King of Crunk.

Friday, March 9, 2007

What It's Like To Date ME..(G'Head & Read)

For those of you who were wondering, take these into consideration.

And for those of you who know already, reflect and laugh. no particular order...

1. Your actions are so loud that I cannot hear what you say. It doesn't matter how much you tell me you care, or how awesome a person I am, I pay the most attention to your actions.

..O. And I pay VERY close attention. To basically everything. Especially little things. Now, that can either be in your favor, or set you back a little. That means I appreciate small doses of affection. (ie: a note slipped in my purse, unexpected act of service, asking my opinion on something personal)

2. I do not trust easily...and might slip into a relapse every now and then if I feel threatened. This is a battle I fight daily since childhood, so you will have to either be patient or I will be extremely annoying. I am not the jealous type, but I have a sixth sense for detecting dishonesty. So, I am really light-hearted until you give me a reason not to be. If you still connect with your recent exes on a regular basis....I have a problem with that. If you have more female friends than male friends...I have a problem with that. If you used to be a dog or even a habitual flirt...DEAL WITH THAT before you want to get serious with me. I have no problem aborting a relationship if I don't trust you with my emotions and time. I promise you will never have any opportunities to second guess my faithfulness.

3. I am very sensual. Mind you, I did NOT say sexual. Personal/spiritual choices I make daily causes me to emphasize other forms of connection. Physical closeness is the most basic, elementary form of intimacy; thereby it being the most trivial and OVERemphasized. I demand intimacy. I require it. You need to give me something to distinct and seperate you from my male friends. If you are my man, you must love deep. Because I love deep.

4. I am very intelligent. (ha) I did NOT say smart. I don't require high SAT scores and GPAs. Realize that intelligence and simply being "smart" are two different things. I need 'mind sex'. Conversation is crucial. I love to talk, discuss, debate, and even argue. If you can't keep up...then we have a problem.

5. My tall stature (6 feet) does not reflect my personality at all. I am not dominating, or loud, or bold, or demanding. I have been called a gentle giant. I am a leader in some circles, but in the relationship I need a strong man. I respect the roles men are needed to play and I will support you, if I feel you believe in yourself, as a man. I am very capable of picking out the restaurant, but its nice to hear YOUR choice sometimes.

6. I am a great listener, not just a great talker. I love it when my man confides in me. It shows trust. That's a good way to build trust, I think. A man will love a woman that he can trust with his heart.

7. I need respect. No...I deserve it. If you clown a part of my lifestyle or my personality, then I feel disrespected. (If I know you're joking ...that's one thing.) And I will retaliate. Trust me, I am not a happy person when I feel threatened or disrespected. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, right?

8. I like being right. Don't argue with me unless you have a good arguement. I hate having conversations with people who cannot convey their point clearly. Cavemen need not apply.

9. I am sensitive. I will cry in front of you.

10. I am a handful. I may get too emotional, moody, and analytical. You need to be able to handle me. I can be manipulative, so be discerning.

11. Most importantly I think out of this list. I am a born again, Bible branded, Unashamed believer of Jesus Christ. If you aren't accepting of this...don't bother attempting to get to know me, because this is the best part of me. If you cultivate this area, as I am cultivating yours, then all is well.

...this isn't all. But all you can handle at the moment. Gotta leave a little mystery...

Monday, March 5, 2007

The Origin of My Screename...(My Introduction)


#1. "I"

I believe the biggest crisis in today's society is that of Self-Identity. Most people would say that spending too much time thinking of yourself will never benefit anyone else...but I must say that until you find out who you are, you are of no help to anyone else. The first thing God did upon creation of Man, was provide him with an identity; a purpose for being created. Until one finds purpose, you are dead.

#2. "Am"

This is a very powerful word to me. Our culture is driven by stereotypes. They attempt to define me by my color, my bodytype, my academic progress, etc, etc. I was born into classifications...but somewhere along the line I decided to silence the mouths of my oppressors. When I say "I Am"...walls break.

#3. "Spoken"

There is life and death in the tongue. Dreams begin in the heart, but there is something powerful about becoming brave enough to voice them. There is no turning back once you've passed this step. You cannot take back what you may ask forgiveness, but the act has been comitted. When God created the universe (with the exception of man), he "spoke" it into existance. So, God has given me that same take life and to speak life into a situation; making it so, or making it cease. (Not physically, but spiritually) BE CAREFUL WHAT U LET COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.

#4. "Word"

This is twofold....First, I believe in the unfalliable word of God. The Bible, is more than a dead, ancient piece of theological literature that holds more historic value than it does relevance to modern times. It tells me everything I need to know about anything worth knowing.

Secondly, I think that words are vessels for truth. We are unlike the animals in many particular way is that we use words, instead of mere consistant sounds. Why is that? Coincidence? Because words bring power. As well as rage, hatred, love, encouragement, and affirmation.

God has given me a stewardship over words....



Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I Am So Thankful...

I just gotta share the depth of gratitude I feel in my heart right now.

For anyone reading this who does not believe in the Power of God, please give Him a chance. Look not on the frailty of His people, but open your heart to His freedom. When you cross the threshold from religion to a relationship, you are blown away at how you managed to live life without God for so long.

I am nothing. I see that. Through the eyes of the world, I am a meaningless speck, floating in space, blindly searching for meaning in a harsh and cruel world. I may be one of the lucky people who obtain success and a mediocre happiness that will only maintain me until my death. Only filling my schedule with a barrage of pointless, or temporarily satisfying rituals will distract me from a longing that, day by day, gets deeper and deeper. But, life is nothing more than what I hold with my two hands, right?

In God. I am everything. I am whole. I am complete. I need nothing else outside of my Father, because not only am I satisfied, but I live in overflow. In abundance. Whatever God takes away from my life, I will never want or lack, because I am my finished, completed self in Him.

But, God always manages to give me so much more than I deserve or even what I need. I am so blessed with relationships that consistantly challenge and encourage me. I have an amazing family. God has allowed me to be sharpened/grow through my relationship with Victor, and also the ladies on my hall. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't meet some random person at Liberty that brightens my day. I exchange smiles with perfect strangers. I have full conversations with people standing in the line at the bookstore, or in the bathroom in between classes.

I am reminded on a consistent basis of my purpose and just how blessed I truly am.

Please, everyone.....take time out everyday to acknowledge the Love of God, that shows up in the smallest things in our everyday lives. He is constantly whispering to us how much He loves us, not just through preachers/teachers, but in the sunrise. In the innocence of a child. Even in the storm.

All praises to God.

I love ya'll. B Encouraged.