"...what should I do & what should I say since my heart is making plans for me."
-- honey dew (geno young)
I'm in a very peculiar state at the moment. I have engaged myself into a way of loving and living that I have absolutely no control over. No longer am I maneuvering it, but it is maneuvering me. Unfamiliar territory, indeed. In the instance that I attempt at self-mastery or restraint, I become subject to my own insubordination. My heart defies me. With each rising of a new sun, it enlarges inside of my chest; threatening to become the only thing left of me. It winks at the fact that I am interrupted physically as well as spiritually. It's as if it knows something I do not, it ignores my remains of fear from broken love, and scoffs at my worry of a reoccurrence.