Beware the Allure of Spring

It was a ripe 85 degrees today.

I live in an area where the weather tends to be a bit unpredictable. Tomorrow may be clammy and peaking in the 50s. You never know. Regardless, it is definitely spring time. My college campus is filled with bright eyes and colors, shorter dresses and Docker cargo shorts. The general sense of well-being is higher, because the climax of spring gives hints to the coming of summer. My peers and I wanting to track star through finals, sell the tattered couch in our apartments that we're soon to be leaving, and prepare for another summer adventure.

Love is definitely in a challenging mode. People are either planning summer weddings or looking to get out of their current situations. For those of us who aren't at least engaged, being single during the heightened time of the year is promising. No one wants to be held down during the summer, right? The last thing you want is for your boyfriend to call you every night the week you are para-sailing down in the Cape with your Ladies Bible Study group. Freedom is a beautiful thing, isn't it? And for every one person that clamored near Thanksgiving to find a Winter boo to exchange hellos under mistletoe by Christmastime, two are fleeing love in the opposite direction, towards the call of summer's heat and sense of adventure.

Can't say that I blame these track stars....Summertime is usually a tough time for relationships.

Maybe I'm paranoid. It has been my experience that I will return to routine in late August with a new betrayal to deal with.

...anyway...I digress...

I encourage adventure. I have a deep, gut feeling that my life is destined to be an adventure. And I wouldn't dare desire to keep this kind of existence from anyone.

But, I want to give a word of caution, whether you are single or taken. Be cautious of the pull of this season. Make sure that your desire for adventure doesn't lead to you hurting someone who stuck with you through hard times. If you think it is a good time for a clean break, then do this sensibly. Know yourself.

Remember that people, although sometimes undependable, are not to be like seasons, because seasons are always changing.

Me, Me, Me, Me, Me...

More ramblings of things I am figuring out about myself.
2011 is going to be a doozy, I can already tell....

1. My heart beats for quality time. If you don't like to invest your time in me, it is the equivalent of a slap in the face. My true friends seek to spend time with me, not just tolerate having me around.
2. I get annoyed really, really easy. And even though I am working on not showing it outwardly, I will always have an inner reaction. Kind of like rolling my eyes at you in my head.
3. I'm still waiting on my BIG MOMENT. Not sure what that means yet. I really feel there is something significant that I haven't done yet. But I know its coming.
4. I enjoy being hospitable. Like, really enjoy it. It's important to me for people to enjoy being in my home; comfortable, well-fed, and entertained. I want to have a night where people lose track of time and are at my house until the wee hours of the morning. I'm scared I'm not that interesting yet, though.
5. My need to get in shape has become more about livelihood and vitality and less about my figure.
6. I have quite an ear for music. I appreciate actual instruments and harmony in a song...which is why I'm so picky of what I listen to...
7. I'm tapping into my "go with the flow" mode. I'm planning on taking a lot of chances this year, and bounce back 100% times faster if they don't work out.
8. Two things give me a headache without fail: Stress and Not eating.
9. I don't want anymore close friends right now. I need to cultivate the relationships I have.
10. Last year, I struggled with really wanting to get married. I haven't had a single thought like that so far this year. Now, I am thrilled I'm not getting married anytime soon. Thrilled, I tell you.
11. Three things I love right now: Books, Welch's Concord Cherry Grape Juice, Big singing voices
12. Above all things, God has been my counselor. I've had a pretty lonely road, so I'm glad I had/have him to release my pain to.

SoulPancake (Yeah, I know...)

I've owned this book for about 5 hours and it has already started to change my life. It's fresh and successfully unhinged the glob of mortar that caused my writer's block.

How I Feel

Here.

And choosing not to be afraid of the calm.

...resting in the following:

I am exactly where I am meant to be.

How I Feel.

"With God all things are possible..." --Matthew 19:26

New.

So, I'm trying a new blog template out...

I'm sure you're used to the deep brown background that I love so much, but I thought I'd try to spruce the place up a bit. Hope your eyes aren't hurting too much. (smile)

Kudos to Blogger for finally stepping their game up, because I've spent a good bit of my blogging time on Tumblr. (gasp)

I'm feeling a bit reborn these days...going through the fire (metaphorically speaking) will do that to you. 

200.

My 200th post! Feels pretty exciting...
Mainly because I've been able to stick with something consistently. And with all of the changes that have taken place in my life since my first post,  I'd say that this is somewhat of an achievement. Or maybe I'm just a know-it-all (lol)....either way. Here it is: number 200...


Random thoughts:

1. My pride of having a black president is starting to wear off, and I'm getting increasingly worried that President Obama may be completely ignoring civil opinion. I fear many things about the future of America. One of them being that our first minority president is being corrupted, despite all of his good intentions coming into office.
2. Why are all of these music artists coming out with reality shows about their lives? Truthfully, I don't care how you grew up (which doesn't take a whole season to reveal) or your struggle to put together a huge birthday party in Miami. Even though your music may speak some relevance to me, I cannot relate to your current woes about which island in the Caribbean to spend Christmas. I don't care.
3. This summer is confirming to me that hell is not an option.
4. I need more fun in my life; whether I have money at the time or not.
5. I hate it when my beloved is stressed out. More so when I see that he's attempting to handle it all on his own; trying to convince me that nothing's really wrong. He doesn't know that I see him more than he thinks.
6. I need to get married. Now. This limbo between seriously committed couple and engaged couple is getting old. lol And I'm only partially kidding...
7. I love my hair. Thank you Kinky-curly :)
8. I don't care if Drake sold almost 500,000 units in his first week. I still do not like his music. 
9. My perfect concert: Janelle Monae/VV Brown with B.O.B & Lupe Fiasco (I love alternative Hip Hop/Soul. I can get my rock fix with some bomb instrumentally thorough tracks that have dope lyrics).
10. I'm doing 25 HUGE. I'm already planning...

Do Yourself a Favor...

Tightrope (Wondamix) Janelle Monae feat. Lupe Fiasco & B.O.B.

How I Feel (Photo & Words Version)

Rest.

Take one moment to pause.

Stop to catch your breath.

Because you are about to engage in the rest of your life. 

So stretch your tired muscles

Take the smile inside you out of hiding 

And point yourself in the direction of your destiny. 

No need for certainty,

Only gather Faith.

Look around for just a moment and marvel at your surroundings,

and remember how far you've come already.

Be grateful.

How I Feel...

It's that time again....

Be back in two weeks.

My current theme song:

How I Feel.

"...He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world."

-1 John 4:4

I am a mere silhouette. A vessel for greatness.

Likes & Dislikes

Likes

• Ihop's International Free Pancake Day
• Naps
• Candid pictures that capture emotion
• Doggy bags from restaurants
• eBay
• Struggling to stop laughing
• Cult films that represent Black culture (e.g. Coming to America, Black Dynamite)
• Learning something new about him
• Feeling the peace of God immediately change my attitude
• A good quote

Dislikes

• Feeling rushed
• People who constantly take but never try to give
• Seeing a sweet kid shyly smile at you and then the frustrated mother snatch him away
• Getting up extra early to finish homework
• Crying from frustration
• Pushy, ungrateful people
• That one person that usually messes up the chill vibe in a room
• Double standards
• Going too long without reading my Bible

Wants & Needs

Wants

• skinny jeans & an external hard drive....still
• more money
• an amazing photo shoot with the best friend
• to know who my real friends are
• a vacation

Needs

• skinny jeans
• more discipline with the money I have
• intentionally make mental pictures of quiet moments with the best friend
• treat everyone with respect and dignity, whether they deserve it or not
• more moments to rest my mind

How I Feel.

In the immortal words of Shug Avery:

"Ooo, Miss Celie...I feels like sanging!"

Love's Day. (A Letter)

Dear Everyone,

You are Loved. Always have been, and always will be. 

Celebrate, on this, your day.

Love,

God

Interlude: Re-Introducing.

Brittney S.

Age 24

In pursuit of a more intimate walk with my Lord.

Explicitly Black.

Graciously Woman.

I write. everything.

Presently being equipped to go back & save our children.

Heart of gold that beats outside of my chest.
Lives for the stage but deaf to applause.
Secretly building "my castle made for two"...


Hello.

Interlude: Wants & Needs

wants

• A $100 to blow @ Forever 21
• A dope new hairstyle
• Skinny jeans 
• A new notebook
• One really good photo shoot
• Car (transitioning into a "need")
• More time on stage performing poetry
  

needs

• $ for the pending apartment
• My apartment to no longer be "pending"
• The focus/girth to completely fill the notebooks I have
• My computer to be fixed
• Emotional fortitude
• A summer/fall job
• Clarity with the avenue to expose a hidden talent
  

What Did I Do In 2009?

Inspired by N.Steven...

• Endured the WORST case of Senior-itis imaginable
• ...but still graduated from college; getting my Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology
• Went through my first full year since going natural (hair, that is)
• ...and I learned to cut my own bangs (Don't smirk, that's an accomplishment.)
• Completed my first year as a Resident Assistant...working on the second.
• Burned through over $450 on a birthday shopping spree over the course of a weekend
• [Speaking of birthdays] I turned 24
• Had a summer that consisted of writing, sleeping, and talking on the phone. Jealous?
• Cried on a consistant basis...
• ...because I fell deeper in Love with my best friend
• ...whom I was seperated from for 8 agonizing months...
• ...but we got back together; better and stronger than we were before. 
• Survived my first semester of graduate school (and with exceptional grades might I add)
• Messed up...had quite a few "almost's"...but still managed to drag my broken self back towards the Throne of Grace
• Went caroling for the first time
• Gained closure for all three of my previous relationships that ended in heartache...one of which, I took by force)
• Learned that God IS the God of Second Chances (and third, fourth, etc.)
• Dance sporatically with friends sitting in a parking lot
• Banned BET
• Stood in the cold rain for/during a home football game for 7 hours. Yeah...never doing THAT again.
• Had a grip of my family in VA with me at the same time (Yeah. Glorious Chaos...)
• Performed poetry (with the best friend) a few times; including in front of a crowd of about 75 people. 
• Bought almost 20 books...including Just Some Stuff I Wrote Down
• Raised a virtual child online
• Mourned the loss of a Legend
• Saw a couple great theatre plays & went to The Concert that changed my life
• Got lost in DC & NJ
• Was involved in a technical love triangle...and witnessed the woeful formation of another
• Got lost in beautiful, intimate moments
• "Chased" a homeless bum to give him some food
• Fell out of a moving car
• Acquired a serious love jones for Phonte Coleman of Little Brother/The Foreign Exchange
• Witnessed two of my closest girlfriends (one of which who swore she'd be a cat lady) fall in love
• Starred in my first Hawt Sawse video (Sure, you have no idea who I'm talking about...so watch it!)
• Stole food from my campus' cafeteria for 2 1/2 months straight
• Lost and found my necklace in over a foot of snow
• Watched my mom learn to walk again
• Acquired addictions to Bejeweled, Moe's Southern Hot Wings, and chocolate syrup :)

Wants & Needs

Wants

• My computer fixed/External Hard Drive
  
• A real bomb pair of skinny jeans
• Bling :)
• Sharing the stage with Phonte of The Foreign Exchange
• Jill Scott concert tickets
• Attend a guest lecture from Nikki Giovanni/ or Maya Angelou
• Discovery of another indie music gem
  

Needs

• Peace concerning trouble getting pregnant with my future husband
• Grace to do it right this time
• Clarity & Direction for future plans
• To be hidden away in the arms of Christ
• More adventures with my best friend
  

How I Feel.

...Life is chaos. Be back soon...