Get.A.Way. [Find.A.Way.]

I got the sudden urge to run away today.

Faced with one too many tragic stories of homicide & destitution. Emotional slavery & utter hopelessness. Tired of watching the news. Sick of irresponsible hands carrying the wealth of the world. Weary of things "just being the way they are".

It's not that my problems and issues are so overwhelming that I'd rather flee than fight...it's just that today my mind entertained the notion of a life somewhere other than here. And I wondered what it would feel like...

I would breathe.
Embrace the ability to pause & appreciate the clean air go in. and out of my body.
Thanking God for this invisible gift that we exhaust so frivolously.
Literally thanking Him for life.
Giving no thought to a day when the last tree will die.
How would this feel?

I would love.
Openly and fiercely. Without one ounce of apprehension or regard to the word "consequence".
Deplete myself into my love's frame like I was girded to since Creation.
...No one knows of the condom, rape, or AIDS here.
Sex is as holy and as free as God.
So I thank Him & caress the healthy, pink cheek of my newborn son.
How would this feel?

I would smile.
Open-mouth grin at my neighbor. And she would beam with a warmth so genuine it widens my smile.
But kindness is so natural here...we have no need for many words.
I notice the sun's rays as it reflects off of her skin. I marvel. The color of warm milk it is.
I see the beauty in her own hue & she embraces it in mine.
We two free from all unspoken bias & our history of segregation.
...because there is so much that we share: I embody her.
How would this feel?

To run my hands into the earth...
...and not argue over its age or war over its contents.
To worship the Creator with my life...
...without Man's disclosure to serve him first.
To hear Love clearly...
...because the voice of Hate is too faint to make out...

Since When?....(July Edition)

1st, watch this video...



My question is:
Since when does being from the streets mean you have to act all rude? And since when does being "real" give you the right to talk to people, especially the public, in whatever manner you think is necessary?

I feel sorry for this young sister because she is undoubtedly creating a negative reputation for herself; meanwhile burning a lot of bridges. She forgot that there are a lot of people that helped her achieve her minimal amount of fame. (Which by the way, fame that is grounded in beef and controversy is destined to come and go.) She keeps going off on fans, other artists, and media moguls...but she's unknowingly writing a huge R.I.P on her career. No one takes her seriously.
Plus, she, along with Trina, Remy Ma, Foxxy Brown, Lil Kim are setting future Female Emcees back. That's my real problem. Absolutely NO respect for the industry or the people who paid dues so that you can even pick up a mic.

Example: Khia openly dissed Janet Jackson, who most graciously featured her on her newest album Discipline. She actually said that Janet isn't relevant anymore and that there is no comparison between their two careers. IS SHE SERIOUS?!!!

Since when does one hit back in 2002, another in 2005, and current controversy count you worthy to be in the same category with a woman who's been making platinum records since the 80s???

She is an embarrassment to the hood & to the industry. She's even an embarrassment to dirty south rap.

Haiku #4672

women silently
giving birth to corpses. Who
will speak for the dead?

Ode.to.Your.Manhood.[Response to N.Steven's "Oh, To Be A Ladyface"]

I had promised that I would give an answer to n.steven's blog. But I was waiting on the right inspiration...which I received sometime today.

I will start by mirroring his initial statement with one of my own:

I could NOT be a man.
God forbid the morning will come that I wake up...only to find that a certain member of my body decided to get up without my permission. I'm sure men get a real kick out of that, but I personally would not want the catalyst for mankind precariously dangling between my legs. I mean, that's too much vulnerability for me, personally.

Men, from a bird's eye view, have it extremely easy.
I mean, they automatically dodge some of nature's most difficult responsibilities. (One Word: childbirth.) They get to take joy in the process of conception, but take the role of spectator for the next 9 months. It hardly seems fair. Some would say that the definition of justice would be for a 10 lb baby to be birthed by just ONE man. (And since no baby's ever been birthed through an anus...there's only one more avenue left other than a Cesarean Section...hahah. )

However, looking at societal woes, men definitely carry their fair share. One of the amazing things about being a woman, is that we can try on different social personalities with ease and acceptance. I can be a tough and loud-mouthed CEO AND I can be a docile and caring wife/mother. I can dress sophisticated one night, and rock NY grit on a Saturday. Men aren't able to slide into different roles so easily. There are many expectations placed on a man's shoulders, and any man who doesn't live up to those...will, by definition, cease to be a man.

Plus, in the relationship, women expect much from men. We literally want them to be superman in every occasion/situation. Not only is he meant to be the provider for the home, but he is also the protector, handyman, mechanic, Don Juan, & Dr. Huxtable. He's gotta keep his body looking like LL Cool J & his mind sharp like Dr. Cornel West. It's a direct shot to who he is as a man if he slacks in either one of these. Rarely does he have any real support from his friends, because they are either happily single, or miserably taken...it's hard for him to look around and see good examples of what a man looks like. So, he makes it up as he goes along. And women get frustrated because they assume that being a man is easy and that they should have "gotten it together" somewhere around puberty.

Fathers "push" their sons. Because "being a man" is the first real achievement. But even once he feels like he may have achieved it...a circumstance, a female, or another male will come along and "tell" him that he isn't able to fill those shoes. Some men preservere, some are wounded.

I admire men very much...however, there are many things that I just do NOT understand...

1. Note that there is a difference between having a sense of humor and being obnoxious. Dane Cook is funny. But you...are obnoxious. And no one finds you funny except for those 3 guys that always hang around you because they have no life.

2. What is sexy about a man in a spandex bathing suit??? Please, someone explain that to me.

3. What makes you think that just because I am female that I don't get baseball stats or play NBA Live 07? Try assuming that the average girl KNOWS about these things, and you are in for a treat.

4. Why does every guy think that he's the best at basketball? Just shut up and play. Geez....

5. Girls are expected to do all the work on the dance floor these days. Why?

I'll end this post with a question: Which of these two pictures signifies what a real man is?



or

[Speaking.of.the."N".Word...]

I would LOVE some comments on this one....

My "view" (hahah):
I don't think this word is acceptable in any fashion, in any context, within or regarding any race. Period.

[Smile]

Watch this video & don't smile.
Go ahead.
I dare you.

Hebrew.Israelites. & Black.Women.

I found this on a sister blogger's page, and this is the most upsetting thing I've seen since watching Amistad the first time. I will NOT put this video on my page directly because of the severe language, but I will post the link.

Be warned that this may make you extremely angry, so proceed with caution.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaKNKztbueM

The "Haterz" Phenomenon

"Hater"


After hearing this word for the millionth time, I decided to study it. Figure out why this word has become a Philosophy. A Doctrine even. I've heard preachers use it from pulpits. It was the topic of choice for my (S)he-ro's first single off of her new album: The Real Thing. It hit our society like a meteor, as if it is the Diagnoses for all of our problems. It is the Root & it becomes the Enemy.

"Don't even worry about her, girl...She ain't nothing but a hater."

We already live in a want-driven society. We don't want a thing for long, though, because there is always something newer, brighter, or more upscale to want. Nothing wrong with wanting things, but WHY do we want them? They don't seem to deeply satisfy something, so there must be some temporal need that it meets.

My grandmother used to say that people are always trying to "Keep Up with the Jones' ". Remember that term? Some of us are literally in a race to outdo everyone else. And by "everyone else", I mean our peers. Our neighbors. The girl that's dating my ex. Even our friends. Yes, even them. We are afraid to let others shine because we think that it means we lose a little bit of our own light. And we were raised and taught throughout life that "No one's light is more important than yours." & "Don't let anyone shine more than you."

So, let's look at the two people involved in this "Hate"' relationship: the hated and the hater. By definition, the hater is uncomfortable with the hated getting so much attention, and purposefully slanders the reputation of the hated, so that people will praise them less. Secondly, the hated is "innocently" shining, and becomes subjected to the hater's wrath. They therefore, dislike the hater. Thus, completing the cycle...

In the beginning of this phenomenon, the hated acted like victims, gaining the pity of those rallying around them. But now, suddenly, the hated are now boasting at the number of haters they had. It has become a desirable attribute in life. No one wishes to live peaceably with their neighbor, or to cultivate loving relationships, but they would rather increase in the number of people who "hate" on their way of living. The hated quickly say that the opinions of the hater means nothing, but will turn right around and feed their ego with the jealousy of who?...that's right: The Hater.

The root of the two names can be attributed to the two extremes of Self-Esteem. The Hated are often so self-absorbed that they sum the Hater's negativity down to being a "Hater". Many times it is the very first judgement they come to. And instead of seeking restitution with the other person, they would rather stand on their insubstantial conclusion. As stated before, it is often the most saught after rationale. The "Hater", however, usually struggle with a lower level of self-esteem; emphasizing the accomplishments of others and ignoring with makes them unique.


The Remedy for both? In the simplest terms, the Hater needs to love himself and the Hated needs to get over himself....They should both then work on uplifting the other; becoming totally comfortable with allowing him or her to shine as bright as he or she possibly can.

It's a dark world and we need all the light we can get...

Let Love Reign.

Quote for the Night...

"Do I need to appear "Black", in the manner in which blacks are negatively portrayed in the media, to be considered "Black"?...I am an educated, well-spoken black woman. My race is one of my many attributes; neither limiting, nor defining. I represent the culmination of my experiences, and the many cultures that have influenced me. I represent the colors of my ancestors. But most of all, I represent myself, and of that, I am most proud."

--Renee Delphin, 1997

The Blur That I Call "College"...

August 2006-May 2007
Freshman/Sophomore Year

Summary:My first year at Liberty University was memorable. I had amazing roommates & got exposed to African culture for the very first time. Got decent grades & goofed off a lot on Facebook. I broke rules and did things that shock me to this day. I performed poetry in public for the first time & earned my stage name. I began and ended a relationship during this school year, and laid the foundation for my current relationship. Ended on the brightest note. All in all, I saw how tough life can be when you are determined to live it only for yourself.
Clubs:I was recruited mid-semester into Student Leadership as a Dormitory Prayer Leader on my hall.
Relationship Status:Dated a guy without being friends first, it ended after 6 months.
GPA:2.53
Favorite class:English 102
Lessons learned:
1.Know your boundaries.
2."When people show you who they are, believe them."
3.Experimentation isn't always fun.
4.Be brave. Speak up.
5.Appearances can lie.
6.Remembering where you come from does not require you to look back.
7.Your fears aren't made of stone...walk through them.
8.Work FIRST, play afterward.
9.Love is never soft or weak, but it is the strongest attribute a person can possess.
10.Forgive.
Pic to sum up the year:



August 2007-May 2008
Sophomore/Junior Year
Summary:Possibly the hardest/best year of my life to date. Everything that I thought was unbreakable inside of me was broken, and I didn't think it was capable to have so much love surrounding you. I fell in love with my best friend, stood by him during one of the hardest times of his life, and even became best friends with his best friend... I endured the death of a dream, & its resurrection. I grew poetically; writing almost everyday. I took active political/social roles on campus. My love life broke new ground, even through a long period of separation. I had a better year academically, also. In general, this year was quite the adventure.
Clubs: Center for M.E. (Multicultural Enrichment), The E.Q.U.A.L.I.T.Y Factor Movement, 2nd year as Prayer Leader and earned a spot as a Resident Assistant this upcoming year.
Relationship Status: Madly in love.
GPA:2.76
Favorite Class:Psychology 351(Multicultural Counseling & Research)
Lessons:
1.Smile more.
2.Take a chance on yourself.
3.God knows what He's doing...so trust Him.
4.Hold nothing back.
5.Love is as explainable as God.
6.Relax.
7.Know what you believe and why, and be ready to speak when someone calls on you for an answer.
8.Your true friends are there despite inconvenience.
9. Use a thesaurus.
10.Writing is NEVER for the author's benefit.
Pic to sum up the year:


August 2008-May 2009
Senior Year
Stay tuned....
Here's a pic of things to come:

The Mindless Menace of Violence by Senator Robert Kennedy

Read & comment...
...or you can listen here.
But please take in these words & see how they relate to you personally.
God bless.

**************************************************************************


City Club of Cleveland, Cleveland, Ohio April 5, 1968

Mr Chairmen,Ladies And Gentlemen

This is a time of shame and sorrow. It is not a day for politics. I have saved this one opportunity, my only event of today, to speak briefly to you about the mindless menace of violence in America which again stains our land and every one of our lives.

It is not the concern of any one race. The victims of the violence are black and white, rich and poor, young and old, famous and unknown. They are, most important of all, human beings whom other human beings loved and needed. No one - no matter where he lives or what he does - can be certain who will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on and on in this country of ours.

Why? What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr's cause has ever been stilled by an assassin's bullet.

No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled, uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of reason.

Whenever any American's life is taken by another American unnecessarily - whether it is done in the name of the law or in the defiance of the law, by one man or a gang, in cold blood or in passion, in an attack of violence or in response to violence - whenever we tear at the fabric of the life which another man has painfully and clumsily woven for himself and his children, the whole nation is degraded.

"Among free men," said Abraham Lincoln, "there can be no successful appeal from the ballot to the bullet; and those who take such appeal are sure to lost their cause and pay the costs."

Yet we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far-off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire whatever weapons and ammunition they desire.

Too often we honor swagger and bluster and wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach non-violence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them.

Some look for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear: violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleansing of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.

For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is the slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter.

This is the breaking of a man's spirit by denying him the chance to stand as a father and as a man among other men. And this too afflicts us all.

I have not come here to propose a set of specific remedies nor is there a single set. For a broad and adequate outline we know what must be done. When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies, to be met not with cooperation but with conquest; to be subjugated and mastered.

We learn, at the last, to look at our brothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community; men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear, only a common desire to retreat from each other, only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this, there are no final answers.

Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is not what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of humane purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence.

We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of others. We must admit in ourselves that our own children's future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge.

Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanquish it with a program, nor with a resolution.

But we can perhaps remember, if only for a time, that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek, as do we, nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and in happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.

Surely, this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely, we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men, and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our own hearts brothers and countrymen once again.

Amazing Grace: Just the Black Notes...

This brought tears to my eyes...feel free to comment.



My personal comments:
The words to this well known song speaks louder to me than ever before. The grace of God is for us all. Black and white. Victim and oppressor. Free and slave.