Ode.to.Your.Manhood.[Response to N.Steven's "Oh, To Be A Ladyface"]

I had promised that I would give an answer to n.steven's blog. But I was waiting on the right inspiration...which I received sometime today.

I will start by mirroring his initial statement with one of my own:

I could NOT be a man.
God forbid the morning will come that I wake up...only to find that a certain member of my body decided to get up without my permission. I'm sure men get a real kick out of that, but I personally would not want the catalyst for mankind precariously dangling between my legs. I mean, that's too much vulnerability for me, personally.

Men, from a bird's eye view, have it extremely easy.
I mean, they automatically dodge some of nature's most difficult responsibilities. (One Word: childbirth.) They get to take joy in the process of conception, but take the role of spectator for the next 9 months. It hardly seems fair. Some would say that the definition of justice would be for a 10 lb baby to be birthed by just ONE man. (And since no baby's ever been birthed through an anus...there's only one more avenue left other than a Cesarean Section...hahah. )

However, looking at societal woes, men definitely carry their fair share. One of the amazing things about being a woman, is that we can try on different social personalities with ease and acceptance. I can be a tough and loud-mouthed CEO AND I can be a docile and caring wife/mother. I can dress sophisticated one night, and rock NY grit on a Saturday. Men aren't able to slide into different roles so easily. There are many expectations placed on a man's shoulders, and any man who doesn't live up to those...will, by definition, cease to be a man.

Plus, in the relationship, women expect much from men. We literally want them to be superman in every occasion/situation. Not only is he meant to be the provider for the home, but he is also the protector, handyman, mechanic, Don Juan, & Dr. Huxtable. He's gotta keep his body looking like LL Cool J & his mind sharp like Dr. Cornel West. It's a direct shot to who he is as a man if he slacks in either one of these. Rarely does he have any real support from his friends, because they are either happily single, or miserably taken...it's hard for him to look around and see good examples of what a man looks like. So, he makes it up as he goes along. And women get frustrated because they assume that being a man is easy and that they should have "gotten it together" somewhere around puberty.

Fathers "push" their sons. Because "being a man" is the first real achievement. But even once he feels like he may have achieved it...a circumstance, a female, or another male will come along and "tell" him that he isn't able to fill those shoes. Some men preservere, some are wounded.

I admire men very much...however, there are many things that I just do NOT understand...

1. Note that there is a difference between having a sense of humor and being obnoxious. Dane Cook is funny. But you...are obnoxious. And no one finds you funny except for those 3 guys that always hang around you because they have no life.

2. What is sexy about a man in a spandex bathing suit??? Please, someone explain that to me.

3. What makes you think that just because I am female that I don't get baseball stats or play NBA Live 07? Try assuming that the average girl KNOWS about these things, and you are in for a treat.

4. Why does every guy think that he's the best at basketball? Just shut up and play. Geez....

5. Girls are expected to do all the work on the dance floor these days. Why?

I'll end this post with a question: Which of these two pictures signifies what a real man is?



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